I found myself in a box.
There I was alone and
no one to talk. I was
keeping the feelings
are the inside and not
wanting to share them
with anyone. I also
had a lot of good things
to share but it seemed
nobody wanted to hear
them either.

I found myself in a crowd
alone. I felt like everyone
else was having fun but me.
I was just there because I
thought maybe I'm here.
That didn't work out so
well.

I found myself out in the
world not knowing where
to go." It is so huge." I
thought to myself, "what
was I going to do." I was
so lost and confused
because I didn't know
which way to go.

I found myself in my room
fighting with the devil
because he wanted me
to go one way but I knew
God wanted me to go the
other way. The devil was
trying to keep me with
letting me have control
over my life but I knew
that was wrong.

Then after fighting with
him for some time I just
said to God, "I can't
take it anymore more."
" I haven't had fun in I
don't know how long. I
miss my old friends."
"I just want things back to
normal again."

God said back to me,
"Child, Believe in and
trust in me and I will
lead your future into
places where you never
thought possible. I will
bless you beyond what
you can image. Just have
the Faith and don't be
scared."

Then I said back to God,
"I do have the Faith so I'm
going to let go and let
You starting today. Myself
is in You, God. You are the
only one that can make me
happy."


Jan. 2009


P.S. Just letting anybody that is reading this know that I'm okay now and loving life! :) There is also a note before this one that gave me the idea for it. I used some verses from Matthew and they are on that other note.

Hey-
Do you know what your spiritual gifts are? It's ok if you don't yet because I'm just now firguing mine out too and I'm a jr. in college. My spiritual gifts are giving encouragment and serving people. Those are the two things I love to do and that make me feel great afterwards. It is strange how I am noticing it and I notice it more with my guyfriends then I do with my girlfriends. I guess that is because they let me know when they appicate something just because they are more out spoken. I know this might sound strange to be I really think I can feel when God is telling or showing me to do something for a certain person. I think I either get really upset and not happy again until I have done what I need to, shiver non-stop, or that certain person will look at me. Recently, I had a friend that for no reason at all that I know of started to look at me and commented me on how I had a kind heart. Then the next thing I know after he did that is that he was going through a hard time making a hard deison about what he should do next semseter. He firgured it out and now I feel like somebody else needs me and I'm not going into that whole story. Let just say that I wrote him something and the next thing I know he is telling me what is wrong. There are little clues I look for and I seem to always or most of the time be right. I also notice after I say something encouraging to them that they will look at me from across the room or wherever they see me at. To me, it is kind of like a I know you care and thank you for caring kind of look but I don't know what those looks means for sure yet. Never had the courage to ask someone. It is like I can understand and know how to read people but yet I have a hard time reading myself or knowing how I'm feeling a certain way. Does this seem strange to you? If it does that's okay. I just want to know if anyone does or feel the same way about themselves. Well, I better go so bye.