beautiful_4_Christ's Revelife

Old Times

Thu, 22 Jan 2009 16:34:05 GMT

Just thinking about the
old times. There were
some good ones and
then there were some
bad ones. Then even
though I learned a lot
from them. There are
times I wish I could go
back and do all over again.

One thing I would change
would be that I wouldn't
be so quick to judge people.
That was probably my biggest
mistake I made. Now that I look
back and kind of keep up
with him it is strange because
he seems like the person I
wanted but I was too blind to
see that right off the back.

He was there to help and
he really was my friend
but I was just too stubborn
to see that. I didn't have my
eyes opened all the way. Now
My really good high school friend.
The only real friend that I ever had
back then.
I know that I probably can't go
back because it is all my fault
and he won't let me. I understand
because I've let him down too
many times.

I just wish that I could say
that I'm sorry to his face
and that we could start all
over again because I know
that I have grown a lot and
it seems like he has too. He
is the person that I have always
wanted him to be. I just couldn't
wait long enough so I pushed
him away.

God has answered my prayers
from back then but I wonder
if He would answer my prayer now.
If there is any possible way I want
that guy back.

I Found Myself

Mon, 19 Jan 2009 00:01:46 GMT

I found myself in a box.
There I was alone and
no one to talk. I was
keeping the feelings
are the inside and not
wanting to share them
with anyone. I also
had a lot of good things
to share but it seemed
nobody wanted to hear
them either.

I found myself in a crowd
alone. I felt like everyone
else was having fun but me.
I was just there because I
thought maybe I'm here.
That didn't work out so
well.

I found myself out in the
world not knowing where
to go." It is so huge." I
thought to myself, "what
was I going to do." I was
so lost and confused
because I didn't know
which way to go.

I found myself in my room
fighting with the devil
because he wanted me
to go one way but I knew
God wanted me to go the
other way. The devil was
trying to keep me with
letting me have control
over my life but I knew
that was wrong.

Then after fighting with
him for some time I just
said to God, "I can't
take it anymore more."
" I haven't had fun in I
don't know how long. I
miss my old friends."
"I just want things back to
normal again."

God said back to me,
"Child, Believe in and
trust in me and I will
lead your future into
places where you never
thought possible. I will
bless you beyond what
you can image. Just have
the Faith and don't be
scared."

Then I said back to God,
"I do have the Faith so I'm
going to let go and let
You starting today. Myself
is in You, God. You are the
only one that can make me
happy."

Jan. 2009

P.S. Just letting anybody that is reading this know that I'm okay now and loving life! :) There is also a note before this one that gave me the idea for it. I used some verses from Matthew and they are on that other note.

Believe in God

Sun, 18 Jan 2009 02:22:19 GMT

Hey-
I'm just going to share something that I'm learning during my quite time with God time. I think it's kind of neat how God is showing me these verses from His miralces, that I and maybe most of us have heard over and over, yet that can go together on their own to tell a story. See if you agree with me.

Matthew 8:26-27: And Jesus answered, "Why are you afraid? You have so little faith!" Then He stood up and rebuked the wind and the waves, and suddenly all was calm. The disciples just sat there in awe. "Who is this?" they asked themselves. " Even the wind and waves obey Him!"

Matthew 9:22: Jesus turned around and said to her, "Daughter, be encouraged! Your faith has made you well." And the woman was healed at that moment.

Matthew 9:29: Then He touched their eyes and said, "Because of your Faith, it will happen."

Matthew 14:17-19: "Impossible!" they exclaimed. "We have only 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish!" "Bring them here," He said. Then He told the people to sit on the grass. And He took the 5 loaves and 2 fish, looked up towards Heaven, and asked God's Blessings on the food.

He is telling me in these verses just to let go and trust and believe in Him because He can make amazing things happen even things we couldn't think of ourselves. Also, if we let go He will bless us even more.
Just think about these 7 verses and see if what I'm saying makes sense and even read the chapters for yourself if you want.

God Bless! ;)

Spiritual Gifts

Thu, 04 Dec 2008 23:31:01 GMT

Hey-
Do you know what your spiritual gifts are? It's ok if you don't yet because I'm just now firguing mine out too and I'm a jr. in college. My spiritual gifts are giving encouragment and serving people. Those are the two things I love to do and that make me feel great afterwards. It is strange how I am noticing it and I notice it more with my guyfriends then I do with my girlfriends. I guess that is because they let me know when they appicate something just because they are more out spoken. I know this might sound strange to be I really think I can feel when God is telling or showing me to do something for a certain person. I think I either get really upset and not happy again until I have done what I need to, shiver non-stop, or that certain person will look at me. Recently, I had a friend that for no reason at all that I know of started to look at me and commented me on how I had a kind heart. Then the next thing I know after he did that is that he was going through a hard time making a hard deison about what he should do next semseter. He firgured it out and now I feel like somebody else needs me and I'm not going into that whole story. Let just say that I wrote him something and the next thing I know he is telling me what is wrong. There are little clues I look for and I seem to always or most of the time be right. I also notice after I say something encouraging to them that they will look at me from across the room or wherever they see me at. To me, it is kind of like a I know you care and thank you for caring kind of look but I don't know what those looks means for sure yet. Never had the courage to ask someone. It is like I can understand and know how to read people but yet I have a hard time reading myself or knowing how I'm feeling a certain way. Does this seem strange to you? If it does that's okay. I just want to know if anyone does or feel the same way about themselves. Well, I better go so bye.

Where have you been all my life?

Mon, 17 Nov 2008 18:28:31 GMT

Hey-
The title is what I'm asking myself right now about these two wonderful guys that God have put in my life this semster for some reason. They are just so encouraging and they can tell the real me and what I need from time to time weather it is encouragment or just someone to talk to. These guys are also helping me see who I truly am and what type of guy I truly deserve. The funny thing is though that they are both from the same town and high school but one is a grade lower then the other one. One is a sr. and the other one is a jr. and the same age as me. I never had guys in my life that encouraged me or let me know that they liked me for me like they do. It is amazing at some of the things these guys do but of course God gives and takes away. It is also strange to because they are both from where my grandpa was from or around there really and that really for some reason means a lot to me. I seem to also get along with them better then any of my other friends like I don't mind them but my friends could care less. They are just amazing and I wish I could let them know that in some way but sometimes it is just easier to let it go and they will found out later maybe. I wished these guys were in my high school when I was growing up because it would have been a lot better but they weren't and now I just have to try and make the best of it here at college. I love them too death and I can't say that enough. Well, I better go so bye. Hope you get the just of this entery.

God is Using Guys to Teach Me

Thu, 23 Oct 2008 14:55:25 GMT

Hey-
You might think my title is kind of strange but I notice this pass week that it is so true. Three of my guyfriends have taught me so much probably more then my girlfriends. I don't know if it is because I'm like them personailty wise more or what but it is amazing what they have taught me and this year is their last so I have no idea what I will do without them next year. It is strange also how God takes one away then puts one in and then takes that one away and then put the old friend back in plus a new one. Here is my story to explain what I'm talking about. When I first started college I fell for this guy and we would make time to talk at lunch off and on and thing and he was homeschooled and the first guy that I met when I came to college. For a year and a half we talked like friends do but then he got a girlfriend last year so he stop talking to me or knowing that I was around. While that was happening and I was giving up on him another guy came along so we got to know each other a little deeper and we talked some and so on. Well, where I am now is that guy I got to know deeper last sesmeter as a friend is not talking to me anymore and I barely see him. Another guy is coming into my life now for who knows what the reason is yet haven't firgured it out yet and the first guy that I got to know is coming back and acting like himself again since he broke up with his girlfriend. The guy that I got to know deeper last semster says that something has made his life life changing so that could have something with him not talking to me. Even though these different guys come from different backgrounds like homeschooled, public schooled, and a broken family they are seem to have one thing in common and can tell one thing about me and that one thing about me that they have told me is that I'm really caring and have a kind heart. It is a good thing I know but it is also a hard thing to understand. I think that with that kind heart that I help them out and make them think about things without them knowing therefore they need a break from me and later on they will come back around as friends. Is that possible and does it make sense? It is strange how things really worked out lately for me. I don't know if I'm just changed more and more or if they are. If you can make sense out of this then I would love for you to leave a comment if not then that is ok I totally understand. I kind of confused myself while writing this too. Well, I better go so bye.

Loving Being a Kid

Mon, 20 Oct 2008 14:45:04 GMT

It is sad that when we get to college or be adults we also forget how to be kids or what it as like being a little kid. I'm a Child Development Major so I hang around kids a lot and get to do a lot of kids' stuff like crafts and games and I Love it because to me it is a reminder of how to enjoy life and forget about your worries. I was thinking about this this morning because in one of my classes we were trying out things we could use in the classroom and got to play with them. Things like gak and play-dough. It was so much fun. My life has just totally turned around this year and I love it. I also noticed I love getting to know people deeper because it helps understand them and it can be really interesting at time and I mean that in a good way. I love my life and the funny thing is that I don't have a guy and I don't need a guy as long as I have my kids (Daycare) I'm fine and that is all that matters. I can't thank God enough for the people He has put in my life in the past and to this day and the life changes He made in me and for me. He is teaching me something everyday and I love it.

God is Moving in my Life

Fri, 10 Oct 2008 14:48:31 GMT

Have you ever had a day or
even a week where the first
start of it is tough but then
later on God just starts pouring
stuff on you so much stuff
that if you were to pray about it in
one night it would take like a hour
or more?

That has been this week for me.
I was really mad and depressed at
the beginning of this week. Then
God used two people to help me
furigure what was wrong with me
and then the other one to calm me
down and know that God is with me.

I was talking to one of my friends
that just went through a retreat thing
with teenagers and I asked him how that
went and he said it was life changing for
him which is good but I think that scared
me a little bit to be honest. Then I was
in his room and he just amazes me. It
seems like he can do everything like
sing and paint and loves God but
yet he likes to hunt plus he is a farm boy.
You would never think those go together
or I wouldn't be where I was rised. If
you even sing you were a sissy but hunting
you were cool.

Him saying that it was life changing for him
was a little scary because I was thinking
what if I'm not in that plan. Then I had a
talk with one of my girlfriends and she
reminded just how amazing of a friend
this guy could be and if he knew that he
have hurted me that it would hurt him as
well and that I need to watch my heart
more. I think that was mainly the
problem of my being depressed and all.

Then just last night we had this worship
thing and the guy and me were both there
and guess what we both glanced and each
other. Don't know what he was thinking or
if he really did see me but I saw him and
I felt at peace and happy again but yet at
the same time I was shaking afterwards.
That wasn't the only thing that made me
feel better. We also singed some songs
like You Never Let Go of Me by Matt Redman
that really touch me like never before.

Then God has put some verses on my heart also
before that like Jeremiah 10:23-24 and John 21:1-19.
It has been a hard yet full filling week for me. I would
love comments and suggestions about how to deal
with any of this or just about anything. Thanks.

Missing my Grandpa

Fri, 03 Oct 2008 15:44:06 GMT

Hey-
Just thought I would kind of update, I guess you would call it, on how I am doing after my Grandpa's death, which isn't very good. Yesterday was his birthday and I was depressed all day and I did know why until I called my mom last night and she reminded me. It is strange how God can put someone else on your mind or you yourself put someone on your mind to not think about those things even if you don't know you are doing it. The boy I have been talking about on here I have been doing fine with. I haven't been thinking about him everyday or seen him everyday or wanting to see him but this week all of the sudden I do. I didn't know why and it was kind of scaring me until mom reminded last night. I was looking at the guy all day yesterday and just wishing I could see him and I think the reason is that he was there for me last semster when I needed someone plus he reminds me a lot of my Grandpa. Is that a bad thing that I feel this way about a guy? It was also really strange because I'm strange but I had the guy's letter that he wrote me last sesmter on my bookself just to remind me of some things because he said some stuff I needed to be reminded of. The last line of his note caught my attention yesterday and that is the 1st time since the 1st time I read it last sesmter. It said. "You will be in my prayers" and I thought that was strange that that part just hit me again. It is strange what God can do and what a person can do in your life. How they can change it around so much that you want them back during the hard times. I was also thinking yesterday that since last sesmter when we talked I have changed so much and I love it. Hope whoever reads this will understand it and I would love to get comments and see what other people think about this strange week and day I have had. Well, I better go so bye.

God Has Given Me an Answer

Mon, 15 Sep 2008 01:33:03 GMT

This idea just popped into my head today and it does kind of makes sense to me. Hopefully, it will make some sense to you. I'm telling you this because I want to see if it is reasonable. Here it is: I feel like a whole new person. I feel like I really don't fit in with my group of friends anymore. I discovered who I really am and want to be. I'm thinking of ways to get to know people better the people that I want to know. I feel like I have to start over with certain people and there have been people on my mind lately a lot that haven't been this past semster. Some of these people are ones I met at the beginning of my Freshman Year. Since my so called friends are growing away from me maybe that is a sign for me to go ahead and restart my life even if it is just for a sesmter or year. Something or somebody changed me this summer I feel like. I can tell that I'm not the same either. I like the real me. The End. :) Does this sound reasonable and make sense or am I just thinking about it too much? Well, I better go so bye.